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Completely Random And Funny Sayings

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Type random and funny sayings xD




The table smelt the baby because it was evil

Windex feels good on my skin with my burgers

Ice cream is such a great skin lotion

Cheesecake feels like barney piss

Tom Cruise likes baby sweat

Please excuse me while I go mate with a wattermellon while watching shark tank on nickelodeon

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  • 3 months later...

stole the cracken hoping for cheese on my cartoonz


PLEASE make the shroom show me a speakeasy


sphagehtii monsters pull my brain to feed cheerioooooos!


sam I am oooh I ate that band


stole the cracken hoping for cheese on my cartoonz


PLEASE make the shroom show me a speakeasy


sphagehtii monsters pull my brain to feed cheerioooooos!


sam I am oooh I ate that band

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  • 1 month later...

I would make some Roosterteeth podcast references here, but they may be a little..... crude. Instead, I'll go with...


My name is Leonard Church and you will fear my laser face!


I do not want to catch pregnancy!


We are in the future! Things are very shiny here.


Time isn't made of lines, it's made of circles. That is why clocks are round.


Your toast has been burnt, and no amount of scraping will remove the black part.


Why are there six pedals, and only four directions?!


and of course... Chupathingy

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I pooped a seagull.


Money is made of taxi cabs.


Tools and vehicles are for apes and kitty cats, real men use volcanos to get the job done.


Lay down your sweet head on the air conditioner and feel the cold grip of the icy tundra as it intices your bionic antilope attachment to get jiggy with it.


Quagmire in your earlobe.


Ostriches are made to nibble the grass around your nipples.


Don't be a hero, be a key lime pie, it's tastier.


Junkies make good throw pillows.


You forgot to put the gravy in your socks this morning.


Noodle in Jango Fett's tea cup is better than rice in Jabba the Hutt's milkshake.


Instantly brew your own cows now with sea bass instant cow mix!


Ocular visions of cheese and mango trees in the pale morning sunlight make me feel like a former US president in his underwear making doodies and scratching incessantly.


Oh great there are nachos falling from the sky, let's go get the butterfly net and make a trap for your cousin Sam down by the liver factory!


Placing bologna on the ear lobe is not a bad idea to prevent tooth decay.


Touch my wheat, sensually.


Mary Tyler Moore has a fungal infection on her daughters husbands moms sisters chicken nugget.


Everybody needs a small oil soaked riding cloak attached to their big toe to help keep their joints functioning properly.


Donkeys make good coat hangers.


(I may be going too far with this one, but do take note that it is all one extremely long random sentence.)

Johannesburg and the raging cathedral of 1972 felt like a midget in the wrong sized hat when placed next to the western digital birthday cake surprise disguised as a bottle of vitamins with silvery lettering, not unlike the time Grandpa Fischer ate the rice pudding and told Mammy it got taken by the gypsies and there were antelopes and maidens in white tapestries and felt stockings, and the Romans marched in pretty file as such they could in the ziggidy-zaggidy streets and walkways that lined the European National Embroidery building, which was made of a sort of coagulated cream cheese, and felt up the Princess of Finland while eating an egg of very pleasant aroma, while on went the war of the Llamas and Pygmy Goats, which in this context was a great assault upon the liberty of the Persian people that were made of sour dough bread and expanded when they stayed in the sun overly long, but the real business was about the specimens they found down in the hole in Mexico, covered in chili sauce and cheese, valued beyond priceless, the treasured petrified feces of Abraham Lincoln, former US President, and the muffins and the crumpets of London rejoiced, thanking the Creator for the joy of having lemons and onions to add to their seasoning, making great effort to join in the race for beating the participants in the march of dimes and thus winning all the dimes, they all joyously orgasmed and there was spaghetti.

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  • 3 years later...

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